That is the most frequent question I get from my friends.
Why him? Why this guy?
I wrote about Firdaus few times already in my previous posts and to be honest, I want to keep our relationship as private and confidential as I can. I don't want anyone to know about it, anyone except us. Maybe because I wasn't ready yet? I'm not really sure why. But based on my previous experiences, I always met and ended up with a lot of shitty guys, I found myself becoming more and more careful about sharing these things. It doesn't mean that my love for him wasn't passionate enough or real enough for me to share with the whole world, it's just that I want to take time and love this guy as he is and as I am, without people's interfering the process.
However, as much as I want to keep our relationship as private as I can, I am still a human and a woman. I still share and talk about him with some of my best friends and close friends. I think it's not fair to keep it as secret from them since these people hmmm they have been supporting and loving me since I was no one (I still am though). At the same time, I find it sad not to document at least bits of everything about us, what we've been through, how I feel about him and the random and funny conversations we had. So I decided to write about him here. (that explains the previous few entries about him). I think that its normal that you know when you're with someone, there are things that you want to cherish and remember for the rest of your life. But I can promise for sure, I'll keep writing about other stuffs too :p
We've been in relationship for 4/5 months now and it has been crazy hahaha. To be honest, I never thought that I can be with the same person for 5 months straight. Its something that I can never imagine before. And if I am to consider the period where we were "friends but more than friends" or "friends but I know you like me", I've been with him for like 9 to 10 months already. Wow. I know that well it might be common to maybe half of the world out there but for me, it's an achievement. To be completely honest, we do fight here and there, but I think it's pretty normal right? Couples fight all the time. We're still in the process of getting to know each other better, so there were days where I find his jokes to be super super lame and weren't funny at all, there were days where I find him too much of an annoyance or there were days where we decided not to text each other. I think it's a common thing, as long as there is still love then it should be fine.
I am the kind of person who always seek for advices from my friends. That is because I think my friends know me better. So every time I had a fight with Firdaus or there's something that he did that I don't like, I'll ask my friends their opinions about it. As a result, he has become so famous in our groups hahahaha. We talk about him all the time; when we were playing PUBG as a team, when we went to eat for lunch/dinner/brunch somewhere, when we were in the car, on our way to shopping basically everywhere. Pity my boyfriend becomes the talk of the town! hahahaha. As we all like to discuss about my relationship, my friends always ask me why do I choose him. Out of all guys? And I always become clueless to answer that. I know that I have the answer its just that I don't know how to explain it or to put it in words.
One time, one of my friends asked me "Why do you like him?" and after contemplating for few seconds I said "Hmm I also don't know why. Isn't it love requires no reasons nor explanations? There's no specific reasons why I love him, I just do". Looking back at the moment, I feel like oh my god, that's such an embarrassing answer. So embarrassing, cliche and ewww. That's literally not the normal Liyana. If I'm in my right mind, I won't give such answer, I think that's the crazy-in-love Liyana hahahaha.
Hmmm I always tell myself (and I told him this once as well) but I think my love for him is the most illogical thing ever. The most illogical feeling I've ever felt and experienced. He always teases me, he challenges me, sometimes he pisses me off but someway somehow I am still with him, listening to his annoying jokes and how he made fun of the fact that I'm so dramatic (even though that might be true). I can't even consider the idea of leaving him. He's like a home to me, whatever I do, or how bad the fight we both had, I always find my way back to this guy. Annoying isn't it?
At the same time, I found him to be a passionate lover. He just didn't realize that about himself. I know that it might seems like I'm the one who leads the relationship or I made 'us' but to be honest, he's just a very very nice person and a lovely boyfriend. He calls me almost every night and we talk for few hours. He always asks me how I was doing and those simple gestures of his care and love always made my day. Sometimes I feel like I'm so lucky to find this man and to have him by my side but because I don't know how to express myself well; instead of thanking him for his presence and love, I said mean jokes about him hahahahaha. But I hope you know that I love you and appreciate you.
Okay, dah puji boyfriend sendiri and back to being that crazy dramatic and super mean girlfriend muehehehe :)
If it's meant to be, it will be.
