Dedicated to everyone who wonders if I'm writing about them. I do.

Sunday, 12 February 2017

My Law School Experience (UiTM) : Why do you choose law?

Guys I think it's time, yup this is it. I think this is the best time for me to share with you guys my experience in law school, what I've been through the last four years in this course, how I feel about doing law and other important stuffs that in my opinion, might be beneficial to you people especially if you're in your first semester and you'd just entered law school or maybe you had not yet entered into one but you're really interested to do law. Actually I received a lot emails from you guys asking about my experience doing law especially from the high school graduates who're interested to be in this course, I did reply to some of you guys. However, I'm really sorry that lately I did not respond much because I have a lot of stuffs to do which require most of my attention and I can't find enough spare time to actually sit and reply to each and every one of you asking, but I hope by this post I can clear up if not all, at least some of the questions regarding law school, whether studying law is easy and etc. 

First of all, I would like to make a disclaimer that what I'm going to share with you guys are my experiences and my opinions as a law student per se and of course everyone experience it differently so what I write here might be different with what you'd heard before, or what you'd experienced. It's very possible to have clashes of opinions here and there, that is absolutely normal. Please take note that these are based on my experience of  being in this course particularly in UiTM, so yes if you're in other universities in Malaysia,or you're studying abroad, the things that I'm going to share might not be that applicable to you guys because we have to understand every university has its own way of dealing or managing things (apa aku mengarut ni?)

So I was thinking of making one entry only for this topic but the more I write, I figured out that it is so not possible because to do that because god bless, I can't summarize everything into one simple post (or maybe I can, but the message I'm trying to deliver might not be clear). Thus I think I'm going to write this part by part. Let's consider this the first part shall we? InsyaAllah I'm going to continue with more and more later (if I have time, or the will to do so :p)

The most frequent or staple question that I'd received from people around me as well as my readers is; why do you choose law? 

When I was doing my foundation, I got this question a lot. During ice breaking sessions (usually the first few weeks of classes), all the lecturers will asked you the same thing, why are you here? why do you choose to do law? what brings you here? 

To be honest, I grew tired of answering this question because imagine if you hear the same thing over and over again, you became loss and you're not sure what to respond to such question.  I remember in my first class when I was doing my foundation, my lecturer at that time asked each and every one of us to come to the front, state why do we choose to do law as well as to  introduce ourselves (name, where you're from, hobbies and etc) and that was the first time in my life, I wondered why do I choose this out of hundred of courses out there. I remember some of my classmates saying things like "I'm here because I'm not good at math, I'm not good in science, I'm not good in biology, chemistry so I thought maybe I should choose law", some of them claimed that they were not interested to do law but since they got the offer, their parents actually encouraged them to do it, some of them also claimed that law is their last option when they're applying for university and it turns out that they got their last option, lol. I think at that time, some of the answers were quite ridiculous ( I think I gave stupid and absurd answer as well, I think so).

Once I ended my foundation and started my degree, I thought that people will stop asking the question, hell no. People still asked the same thing, your friends will wonder why you're doing this course, your relatives will ask the similar question, your high school teachers will, the uncle sitting next to me while waiting for car wash asked the same thing, the people I met when I was ordering my food did, basically everyone you passed by will asked you the same basic question all the time. I'm in my final year now, InsyaAllah I'm going to graduate by August or September this year but I still get this question though. Thus, I think this question will basically haunt every law student, yup until we graduate. 

I used to neglect or just give a bypass answer when I was asked this question because I'd got it more than 100 times the last 5 years but the more I indulged myself and every time I move forward from one semester to another, I realized the significance of the question. You know when everything gets tough and there's so many things to catch up with limited time, when you thought you'd done your very best you studied more than 12 hours per day and you still got low marks in the test, when you're stressed out and feel like quieting law school, when suddenly you feel like you won't make it-- that's when, your reasons of being here matters. 

Why do you want to do law at the first place? If you're here to have fun and you thought doing law would give you fame and money, you're wrong. Not all lawyers become millionaires, some of them earned enough to have decent life but not like extremely rich or something like Bill gates, especially with our current economy I think we have to be realistic.  If you're here just because you watched legal movies or series such as The Suit or Legally Blonde and you thought it's cool, you're wrong. Being in law school is nothing like the movies make it looks like, or maybe 10 percent similarities and that's it. 

I wanted to become a lawyer or to do law since I was in primary school and yes I was mostly influenced by the movies or books I read about law students or lawyers. Before I enter law school, I thought being a lawyer means you fight  against injustice, you protect those need to be protected and that's it. It seems like a noble job but in the books I read a lot of people hate lawyers, I wondered why? Then I stepped into law school which opened up new perspectives of what this field actually looks like or what lawyers actually do. Also, once I'm here I was trained to think differently compared with the way I used to and honestly the reality is another different story. In law school (at least mine), you'll not be asked about Aristotle's philosophical theory in the first class like the movie Legally Blonde. In the end, we put so much efforts and study like crazy to get a B, not an A (or maybe you can get an A if you're smart :)

So, what I'm trying to say is if you want to be in law school, ask yourself whether you really want this?If you're not passionate with what you're doing i.e you're not sure whether you really want that degree, the chances of you making it is low. This is because I see average people but they really  really want to become a lawyer and they worked extra hard than others, they make it ( This goes along with my fav ever quote: Your efforts will never betray you). At the same time, I see smart people those who you know that they're good just by the way the portray themselves, the way they carry themselves, some of them get an straight A plus in their SPM but they didn't make it. One is of course, everything is part of God's plan (we can never deny this) but another thing is because they're not sure what they're doing and what they want.  

However if you're in law school now but you haven't figured out your purpose, don't worry. You will, of course  with your own efforts,  the right time will come and you'll figured out the answers you've been searching for. Believe me if you keep on working hard, you will. I'd figured out mine when I was in the middle of my degree as well, so yes I don't have it along the way since the beginning. I mean yes I want to do law since I was young but I don't have specific reasons why I'm interested to do it. I figured out my passion in the Jurisprudence class when I was in semester 4 or 5 I think. Since that day, everything in my life seems easier and I became less stressed and more happy with what I'm doing, like I'm enjoying everything to the fullest. If you haven't don't worry. You will, one day.

Usually when things get tough and challenging, it tested your perseverance and endurance. Most of the time, if you can endure the tough time (the moment where you have to juggle everything tests, presentations, assignments in limited time), you'll survive. I think many of us are in similar position as I do, I'm not a very smart or bright student, I'm just an average student. Sometimes I do well, sometimes I don't. Sometimes I feel like slapping myself in the face for being such a crackhead but I believe if you have endurance and you discipline yourself, you can do everything. That's how I survive law school. I keep telling myself to have faith in whatever I'm doing and always discipline with what you're doing.

If I have to be honest, for me the first two years of law school were the toughest. I know that the subjects were not as tough as you know if you're in your 3rd year or final year but I think probably when you're in first or second year, you're still young, you're thrown to a new environment, you're still in the process of knowing and developing yourself, you haven't discover the right or suitable mode of studying yet so that's when things get messy and you feel like you'd made a wrong choice. However, that is not true. I think if you can endure them, you'll be just fine. 

I think this is the end of my first ever experience-sharing post, I'm going to write more about this topic insyAllah if I have the time for that. I will try to make some time, hopefully. I was thinking of doing something like a vlog, a day as a law student kind of thing but I'm still in doubt about such idea because hahahaha some part of me totally oppose the idea because I think no one is ever going to watch it bla bla bla but another part of me encourage me to do it because who cares if people don't watch it, we 're not here to please people anyway.  I'm not sure whether I will make it, if possible I will but I have to consider a lot of stuffs so let's see about that yaa.

Thursday, 2 February 2017

Single-ness, still


Okay how am I supposed to begin this?

Actually, I'm actually quite a pessimistic kind of person, by that I mean I have very high expectations on certain things. Hmm maybe not anymore, I'm trying very hard to keep it low these days, mostly because I realized that we can't control everything, and even if we put so much efforts into something if it's not meant to be it will not be. Being a person with too much ambition was hard like "Just work fucking harder" but in the end you still can't make it because there's no joy anymore. Just a life full of stress and depression. I think the past few years, I tried very hard to change myself. And when you did so, the way you see the world is also going to change 180 degrees. As we gain a unique understanding of the situations we're in, the less negativity we allow to set in. I'm also trying very very hard to accept situations or people as they are and stop critizing them so much because hey nobody is ever perfect and before you criticize somebody else, keep in mind that you're also a piece of shit, like you do so many shitty things as well. So lower the standards and live your well, will ya?

Be easy, take your time. You're doing this right.

Wednesday, 4 January 2017


Today marks the 4th day of 2017,

I guess it's not too late to wish everyone Happy New Year! A year has passed people, I hope everyone achieved their 2016 resolutions, wishes, azam whatever you called it. Actually, I'm not really a new-year kind of person or new-year-resolutions type probably because since the last 4 years what I did during new year's eve was actually preparing for my final exam. Yup, our schedule has pretty much ruined my new year celebrations (including 2016). Usually, what I did on for new year was just a very simple celebration, a little countdown on my own (sometimes on my bed sambil makan kacang), watched fireworks from my 7th floor apartment and shouted 'Happy New Year' to myself.  That's all. I'd never get the chance to actually celebrate the last day of that particular year like what youngsters usually do, people mostly go hang out with friends, having fun and watch fireworks with crowd and all. That's not my case because basically the next few days after the new year, I have to sit for a paper so I;m 'forced' and 'obliged' to study all the law thingy. Studying but deep inside, crying hahahaha.

So yeah as mentioned earlier, I'm not really the new-year kind of person but it's actually pretty nice to see people wishing farewell on the last day of the particular year and at the same time making various and numerous new year resolutions. I'm just happy and glad with the fact that most of the people I know is actually pure at heart, even though usually won't show that side of them. On 31st December or early days of January,  most of the instagram posts or tweets that come across my timeline are all about people wanting to become a better version of themselves. They hope they are one step closer to their dreams, they hope 2017 will be full of blessings, happiness and good memories.  Some people wish that the new year will mark a new beginning for them, some even wished good things for other people. Honestly, that is not something that we can see everyday especially in my circle. All we did all year long are probably the same cycle of things (study-assignment-tests-lecturers-eat-boring stuffs), ranting about how stressful our lives are, how mean some lecturers are, how much we hate the food and etc, but when it comes to new year everyone wish for good things and that is something good to read upon, isn't it?

In my case, 2016 was a memorable year.  Of course, there were a lot of ups and downs but it's okay we're bound to experience each and every of them eventually. I think I'd struggled so much, there were days where I thought I might not make it be it studies or life in general, but now I'm happy because I realize the more I struggle, the more I learnt. I'm not going to write in detail what I'd gone through the last 12 months of 2016 because if I do, this post is going to be super long. All I can say is I will cherish all the good lovely memories I've gained and at the same time I hope I'll  slowly forget all the pains, sufferings, heartbreaking moments I'd experience. It's okay whatever it is, like I've mentioned earlier, they are bound to happen anyway, that's how we grow.

Hopefully 2017 will be a better year.

p/s: This year is not an exception. I'm in my middle of exam weeks. Yesterday was my first paper for this 7th semester. Another 3 papers to go, the last paper is on 14th January. Yahoo but not so yahoo because I have the final trial for Criminal Trial and Advocacy on 19th. Only after that, I can finally be at ease. Whatever it is, wish me luck people! Please make dua for me, pleaseee. Thanks :)

Tuesday, 27 December 2016

Life and Death

Can't believe that on this lovely sunny morning, I'm writing about death.

Honestly, we have to admit that the idea of 'dying' do cross our minds sometimes, even not often.

Sometimes, I cannot contain myself from wondering about this. Maybe as I grew older, I have the tendency to be reminiscent of the time I'd spent, the sins I'd committed be it intentionally or unintentionally. Of course these kind of thoughts didn't come often, but when it does it makes me feel nostalgic, overwhelmed, sad and a little bit worried because to be honest there were days where I was unable to resist  sins and temptations of this world plus I don't think I'd live proper enough to be in heaven but hopefully Allah, the most merciful will forgive all my wrongdoings and place me in the proper place He wish to set me in.

Obviously, I am not ready to die well no one is ready for that by the way. We all want to live for the next two hundred years with good health and money isn't it? But well that's not how this world works. It's just that when it happens, it happens. Everyone will go through it, by hook or by crook. Either we're ready for it or not is well not much of an issue. One of my friends told me if we're given  'ready' to be the option to postpone things or wait until we're fully ready, chances are we are not going to be one even in the next 100 years because as humans, we're never ready.  Remember when we didn't study much for an exam, but we still have to sit for it regardless of the fact that we're not much prepared for it. The same principle applies when it comes to death.

Thoughts about death make me ponder about a lot of things, whether I had lived my life well? If I die, am I going to be in heaven or am I going to be dumped in the hell? I wonder about how my grandparents, relatives, friends who'd passed away before me, how are they doing down there?I hope they're doing fine, my prayers are always with them. I wonder if I die, is there anyone who's going to cry? Is there anyone who's going to get affected with my absence? I'm sure there will be at least a handful of people but I hope my death will bring them more strength than sorrow. If I die, what is going to happen to my family? Who's going to take care of my parents when they're sick? What about all my blog posts? Hopefully, someone close to me has the conscious to delete all my instagram posts, facebook posts whatsoever. I mean I have to prevent all kind of sins, am I? The blog posts well I hope they remain as they are right now because who knows someone might be missing me after I die and the only option for them is through my writing but someway somehow I'm a little conflicted because bad posts might unintentionally attract you more sins in the afterlife, isn't it? So, not sure.

In short, what I can conclude is basically I do fear death, and most of it is due to the fact that I'm not prepared for it. I can't say that I'm going to be more pious or an ustazah  or terus bertafakur on the sejadah and baca Quran 24/7 after this hahaha, the chances for those things to happen are actually quite low. In fact, I might just continue life the way I used to but with a little bit of appreciation and reminder that the time I spend on this  earth is not permanent. It somehow motivates me to enjoy life, to set my purposes right, to chase my dreams when I still have time  and finally to do more and more good things and contribute to the world as a whole.

In the end, isn't that the main reason we're here today? To suffer, to learn and to change.

Thursday, 15 December 2016

Crazy weeks

So, I have two tests tomorrow and I'm so stressed right now. Now wait a minute, am I really stressed? Hmm maybe not, actually everything is fine except the fact that I haven't study or revise a thing on Solicitor's Account but well they say everything will be fine if you believe in yourself right? So I'm just going to keep calm and believe in myself because errr hmm because I think I'm the best lol. I know so over confident lah you right now, but honestly at this stage where you just have so many things to juggle, the best thing you can do is to sit back and do each thing slowly, passionately. Insya Allah, you'll be fine *pat myself*

Yup two tests tomorrow, Solicitor's Account and Criminal Procedure which will end at 11pm (Hopefully someone can remain conscious and jangan tidur during the tests :p ) and the good news is I also have a viva on Saturday for Forensic Science hahaha. I just can't say anything anymore, just laugh because my life is crazy. I'm not sure what others are thinking but my schedule is so absurd and messed up. Totally ripped off my whole energy. Then I'll have a break on Sunday (which paling bangang I have to prepare for all the coming tests and viva on this one and only day, rip my weekend). On Monday, I have viva convey. Tuesday, tort test, Wednesday, evidence test and have to submit one of the files for probate, Friday-contract presentation and family test. Saturday- hearing for probate. Crazy, basically I'll have no break at all, none until this semester ends. I really hope all these madness will come to an end please I cannot wait for any break because my life right now is going way too fast that I can't even control the pace I'm moving. But as you know, just when I thought I can finally sleep once the 14th week end, something crossed my mind : The finals! 


#ilovemylife  #iloveallthetests #iloveLLB #LLBiseasy #siapasuruhmasukllb #padanmuka #siapasuruhnakjadilawyer #testislife #pasrahandredha  #keepingmyselfsane #lifegoals

Cannot senyum anymore.

p/s: God, give me all the strength, health and luck that I need!