I'm getting married!

 Oh shit.

I can't believe that in less than 2 months, I will be a wife. A WIFE? How crazy is that ?!?!?!

If you ask me well I didn't really expect this. I mean when Hilmi told me that he's serious with me and wanted to meet my family, I did know that the we will get married and all one day, but at that time it was just a plan, nothing is yet to be confirmed. Then we got engaged on Christmas last year (25.12.2020), then things got serious. I mean at one time, I know that I'm going to marry this guy yedda yedda but the moment I'm engaged I was like "wow girl, this thing is getting real" but stil at that time, l I had months to go so I didn't really bother. 

"It's okay, still got time".

"Ohhh lambat lagi June 2021".

But, now?  Hmmmmmm sis is nervous hahahaha.

They say that sometimes things happen unexpectedly. I would say that Hilmi's presence in my life, and my presence in his is one of the unexpected things for us (or at least for me). I wasn't kidding okay when I told my friends and families that I'm ready to spend my whole life alone and be the cool auntie to their kids as marriage was definitely out of my book. I didn't think I will ever get married one day and I was okay with that, serious. I felt like okay I already got a job and honestly, I was looking to buy a house when I first met Hilmi. I just thought that marriage is just not my thing.

Then I met Hilmi. Of course I can go hours and hours (or in the context of blogging: paragraphs and paragraphs) of how much he changed my life, or hmm how much we love each other or he is the love of my life and I can't imagine living without him bla bla bla all those cliche but I didn't plan to do that tonight hahahaha. I think based on my previous posts, people can definitely tell how in love I am right now hihihi. I don't know I think I'm just blessed and everyday I'm grateful and thankful to Allah for this rezeki. Alhamdulillah.

Honestly right now, I am still in the midst of preparing for the wedding. I honestly think that I got a lot of stuffs done, but every time I look back I realize that oh my god so many unsettled things! Also, it's quite difficult to plan a wedding in the middle of this pandemic because I'm not sure whether I can have a ceremony or not, or if I can how many people can I invite and stuffs like that. I already told my mum, even if we can't have the gathering/celebration, I'm still getting married on the fixed date because I can't postpone stuffs anymore. Macam selagi tak habis all these marriage stuffs selagi tu hidup I tak tenteram hahaha. 

Oh before I end this post, I just want to say that I'm glad that I'm doing all these marriage thingy with Hilmi and not anyone else because he's the most patient and loving guy I've ever come across in my whole life hahaha. The thing with me is that whenever I get stressed, I feel like scolding people. It's not my best quality I'm not proud of it but I just hmmm I guess I'm just crazy like that. But every time I scold Hilmi for no reason or for such small mistakes he made, he is very patient to layan me. I don't think I can do this without him. Okay, now I feel like the bad guy hmmmm oh well, he chose me so tough luck huh?

Anyone who's reading this, please make dua for us. Hopefully everything will be smooth sailing and our marriage is blessed diberkati oleh Allah S.W.T.  Thank you. 

Love Update

Hi peeps!

Okay if I am being honest, I am a bit scared to write about Hilmi anymore hahaha. The last and ONLY time I wrote something about him, I drove people crazy hahaha okay not everyone basically but it became quite a stir between my friends and families (whom for no clear reasons decided to read my personal blog and were shocked of the post). Just a little disclaimer here, let me remind you all that if you come here to read something, please do so at your own risk okay? I shall not be blamed if you guys are ever  'drown' in my sweetness (and coolness) or any trauma that might inflict you physically or mentally hahaha. 

Hilmi and I are in love, crazily in love in fact. So it kills me not to write things here or share some of our funny videos or conversations on social media but I guess it is what it is. I decided to keep our relationship as private as I can. I mean I still posted some Instagram stories of us sometimes, but I do not share every bits of it. I mean of course if you asked me there's so many things to write about, so many experiences that we went together, so many first-time (s) and as a girl and a self-proclaimed writer of her own life *rolls eyes*, I do want to share a lot of things. However, I decided that this time I do not want to overshare things anymore (is that even possible for me though?) but I still want to share some sweet memories of us together, cute things we do together hmm. Isn't it confusing? One moment, you're all against sharing your life online like what if people get annoyed and feel like "ntah pape lebih-lebih jer" but another second, you're like you know what it's my blog, I build it from scratch, this is a free country and no one can dictate what I'm going to do with my life. My blog is here for a purpose; for me to share my bitter sweet memories. So I should not stop myself from writing whatever I want; inclusive of my love life. Right?

I guess I'll take the later option; I will write whatever I want and I will share whatever I want because that makes me happy and just like anyone in this world, me Nur Liyana Izzati binti Abd Aziz deserves to be happy, as happy as birds, especially after everything that I'd went through in my life.

That day, Hilmi went back to Kelantan to meet my parents and our way back to KL, we had coffee with one of his students. His student told us that apparently my blog is famous among his friends like the whole batch has read my blog and know about us Then I'm like whattt??? whyyyyy??? but I cool jer hahaha. I mean haihh as expected, kids love me? *smirks*. Anyway to his student(s) who's currently reading my humble humble blog, hi! I hope you enjoy your read and don't worry okay your lecturer is in good hands insyaAllah.

Last week, my lovely colleagues KJ and Benjamin read through my blog and they purposely read my post about Hilmi and they read it out loud okay, like the whole office can hear it hahahaha. The funnyn part is when they were reading it out and giggling in front of the door I was like "what is it? what's so funny" I mean I can't even recognized my own writing hahaha. I was like hmmm that sounds familiar but where did I read that ah? After some time I realized and I was like shittt did you guys read my twitter? Nope, it's even worse. It's your blog, girl. Hahahahaha.

So now tell me; should I write more about Hilmi and me? or should I stop?

Please vomit okay? Vomit of jealousy :p

Work Anniversary!

A lot of things have changed since the last time I wrote here.

First of all, your girl is a second year practicing lawyer now wuhuu! 

I know that it might not be a very important or interesting matter to you guys (or anyone else) but it is significant to me. I take my work very seriously and I put so much passion and efforts to it so to see how far I have come in this field and looking back to all my so called work achievements, that really means a lot. So Idk I guess just bare with me because every 17th August (literally every year), I will be counting my anniversary okay, I'm not even kidding hahaha. 

Looking back, I honestly learn a lot on how to be a good lawyer and most of the time, I'm quite glad that I am in this profession because it does help me to look at life in different ways and I have to admit that my legal knowledge do help me in dealing with my everyday life (or problems). I'm not saying that oh everyone should go study law, be a lawyer oh my god it's the best profession in this world, nay nay! If I ever said that being a lawyer is the best profession in this world pffff I must be kidding myself. A lot of times throughout my life, I regretted my decision and I doubted about it. Am I good enough for this? Do I have what it takes to be a good lawyer? Is this for me? Why is my submission never perfect? 

Well, you know me and my self doubts moments are inseparable but honestly, someway somehow along the way I learnt that it's okay and it's completely normal to feel like that and to have doubts in what you're doing. Regardless of the profession or line of work you're in or even if you're still in school or university, it's okay. Just take your time, enjoy yourself, work hard and improve yourself at your own pace.

My work at Gibb & Co has always been a blessing, I know that I say this all the time but that's the truth. I love my work and honestly, some parts of it are because of the firm I'm in and the people I work with. Work or cases are challenging in their own way. When I was in my first year, I thought that oh it's okay Liyana, once you're more experienced then things will be easier for you. Turns out...it's not! Every case is different, as in different facts, different application of the law and they require different arguments hence you need to always improve your knowledge. When I was in my first year, things were difficult because of my lack of experiences. At the very beginning, I wasn't sure what to do and all so my partners have to guide me a lot until I can stand and manage things on my own. Now, I'm in my second year and honestly, some things or cases are still difficult because I am now being exposed to a more challenging cases. I notice that this year, I actually did a lot of new type of cases/applications, those I was never exposed to before. Was it difficult? Of course. But it is undeniably fun and challenging so I think I'm pretty good. 

Sometimes when I'm stressed and I had to stay in office till night, I do question my choice to be in this profession. But then at the same time, it's crazy that I don't see myself doing something else than being a practicing lawyer. At least for now. Honestly, if I can turn back time hmm I will still choose to be a lawyer, it's just that I hope I was a bit smarter and a bit more brave but well it's okay, I'm improving and that's the most important for me right now.

Congratulations to myself! You push through everything, every obstacles, every hateful remarks and see, you did it! I know that this is just a beginning and you will achieve more greater things in future. I'm super proud, can't wait to celebrate your 20th anniversary as a lawyer. To more happy glory days!

Thanks!